The Tangled Webs We Weave
by bella1swan17
Summary: AU/All Human. A little OOC. Bella Swan, being human and prone to error, gets drunk. And to her surprise she wakes up with a major hangover, indecent, and in a stranger's bed. What she doesn't expect is her attraction to his room mate, Edward.
1. Chapter 1: BPOV

**A/N I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does. I'm just manipulating them, for my own enjoyment.**

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** Chapter 1**

BPOV

Ugh…. major hangover. A headache with the force of a semi-truck enclosed upon me. How drunk was I? Ugh... why does reality have to call. In the process of facing this thing called reality my eyes flickered open. I blinked in confusion. Where was I? The room was dimly lit but the sunlight shining through gave me the ability to make out most of the panorama.

There were four walls, like there should be. Hey! at least I wasn't in alley or a hallway, it's been known to happen, especially when Alice decides I go partying and then takes it upon herself to spike my drinks. I smiled at the thought of her. Despite her weird ways of showing it Alice loved me. She thinks I'm too serious and tries to make me lighten up. Which the way she works it usually happens.

The details of the room were sketchy, my headache blurred most of the lines, not to mention that there wasn't enough light. I looked kind of dingy but what could you expect from a college boy. I slowly lifted myself into a seating position to see my condition. Knowing that something happened was kind of obvious, but I need to know how far it went. I groaned and thought 'why did my memory not serve me in times like these?' I finally looked down. Great, I groaned. I was completely naked.

I wondered where the guy was, usually when I ended up in a one night stand stand situation I like to break it nicely to the guy, well as nicely as I could. I hated be in these situations, and as nice as I tried to be my first priority was to get out of it as fast as possible. In the need to know how things stood I looked at my surroundings quickly, and without a moment of hesitation a wave of pain hit my brain. Damn headache! No sudden movements I coached myself. And then I saw it.

There was a note lying on the pillow sitting next to me. _Went to get some breakfast. Wait for me won't you? -Mike._ I groaned. He didn't really think that we were anything, did he? I got up and wrapped the sheet around me. I noticed that there was another bed across the room. He had a room mate, apparently. Where did I go that would make me end up with such a boy? With everything in mind, I felt the immediate need to take a shower. I need to feel clean again. Gosh! How could I get in this situation? And, then I remembered something. He didn't live alone. Damn! Why did he have to have a room mate.

I trudged down the hall in my poor excuse of clothing, or even a covering. I couldn't barge in to the bathroom and use there shower without permission. As seemingly sluty as I may appear I was better than that. I was better than this, but yet here I was... It was just like freshman year all over again. Bella! It's the past; it's water under the bridge. This is one situation that resembles the past, but I'm not the same person. I shook myself out of the thought, it's never good to reminisce in the past.

I came to the living room that was completely and totally a mess, in the corner was his room mate, who was engrossed in a novel. He looked kind of broody, I just hope he wouldn't be an ass.

"Hey," I whispered. I really didn't want to arouse him from his state. And that's when he glanced up. When he was engulfed in his book all I saw was his messy bronze hair. But with his face fully exposed, no longer hidden in his book, I was able to see him. He was… beautiful. Everything about him. He had peircing green eyes and soft full lips. His features were so angular. And the way his disarray of a hair fell upon his face just made him look… sexy. Damn it, Bella! You just got out of bed with a stranger and now your about to lead yourselves into an even more dangerous trap. His room mate.

When his gaze met mine I couldn't help seeing his taken aback expression. "Hey yourself, " he said casually trying to recover.

"Um, can I use your bathroom; I kind of need to take a shower."

"I kind of guessed that after what I heard last night," he said running his fingers through his hair. I guess my first instinct was right: definitely an ass. He saw my stunned expression and immediately tried to amend it, "I'm sorry. It's not your fault, it's just I- it gets kind of annoying having my room mates dragging girls in and out of here all the time."

Interesting… "Uh, I wish I wasn't the one getting dragged in here."

"Really, the sex was that bad," he laughed.

"I- I actually don't know the answer to that?" he gave me a questioning look. "Alcohol does weird things to my memory."

"Then why do you drink?" he asked, confused.

"I tend to try to avoid it. And honestly unless it's a lot it doesn't tamper with my memory."

"Okay, then explain the situation last night.'

"Alice."

"That definitely explains everything," he said sarcastically.

"I was completely stressed out with finals and all," I began the long story, which I usually didn't tell, but it was really easy to talk to this guy. "I hadn't relaxed in weeks. And she decided I need to loosen up, since the finals were finally over. Anyway, her idea of making me relax is getting me completely wasted. Usually, I wouldn't comply but I did need to loosen up. Oh! Then after I'd only had one drink in an entire hour," I said with a completely fake shocked face, "she decided to take measures into her own hands. She offered to get me another drink. Instead of getting me a mild beer she took a beer bottle and filled it completely with shots. And, here I am." With finishing my little speech I motioned to my current state. It seemed apropriate at the time. What didn't seem apropriate was how long his eyes lingered.

He shook his head and returned his gaze to my face, "So, how do you know Alice's side of the story."

"Oh, because that's the case every time I wake up in someone else's bed not remembering the night before." After a brief moment I spoke, "So, what's your room mate's story; Mike, isn't it?"

"It's nice to know he's so memorable," he mused at the words, "Um, yeah, he's your average player. Goes to bars, preying upon innocent, drunk woman. Although ussually he doesn't do as he good as he did last night." He almost whispered the last part, while letting his eyes draw down toward my barely covered body.

"Meaning?" I asked. Was it like he had multiple girls, or that I was unusually a good catch?

"Meaning, usually the girl walking out of that bedroom doesn't look as beautiful as you."

"They probably don't look as in much pain as me either," as another blow to head came from my painful hangover. "Um, do you have an advil?"

He looked slightly dazed for a second and then curtly responded with a sure. He rose from his chair and for the first time I saw his body, before it'd been hidden by his chair. And let's just say that, well… that he was impressive. Now, I've seen a few impressive bodies, but not like his. It wasn't sheer size, it was the way his muscle were on his body, how they were stretched over his bones. And then there was his height, it wasn't too tall, but still intimidating. And that combined with every else…

He went over to a drawer in the scrawny little room that they called a kitchen. From that he pulled out a bottle of generic ibuprofen. "Generic's fine, right?"

"As longs as it does the job." I walked over to where he stood and grabbed for the bottle. With the lack of one of my arms pinning down my covering, the sheet slipped a bit, after the bottle was in my palm I quickly remedied my mistake and pinned the sheet to myself again. But my mistake didn't go unnoticed as I realized that his eyes were locked on me, but not on my face…

"Um, I guess I should take that shower now," I murmured as I released a little red pill on my palm and quickly swallowed it.

"That's probably for the best," he muttered as his face fell to the floor. I smiled and headed down the hall to the bathroom. I let myself in and began the process known as showering. I turned on the faucet to the shower and while waiting for the water to turn hot I began the process of undressing, which in this case consisted of me letting the sheet fall to the floor. Easy enough, but it didn't cover the time span needed for the water to heat up. So, I sat on the toilet and lazily skimmed a magazine. After a minute or so I tested the waters. Scalding hot, perfect. I climbed into the tub and began the calming process of showering. I let the hot water relax every muscle in my body, something I deeply needed.

As I tried to relax I let my mind wonder. And it what it came upon, is well, kind of ironic. The guy I had just slept with was no where to be seen but his room mate, but his room mate on the other hand... The broody bronze-haired one. The one who was unbelievable gorgeous. And with that picture in my mind the fantasies began. I pictured his full lips against mine. I pictured his impressive hands feeling and kneading my skin. I pictured everything. Everything was inappropriate, but I couldn't help it. There was something about him…

The hot water was nearly out, and I knew that it would be extremely rude to waste it all, so I quickly got out of the shower to dry off. Damn… now I'd only be dressed in a towel. Getting skimpier and skimpier, Bella, I laughed to myself. I was finally dried off and wrapped hair up in one towel, and another around my torso. I sighed, why did this have to happen to me?

I left the bathroom feeling newly refreshed and finally getting relief from the ibuprofen. As I walked into the hallway I couldn't help but overhear the conversation coming from the living room.

"Mike, you can't keep doing this. She actually seemed nice. Do you want to cause every girl on campus regret?" bronze-haired guy asked.

"Edward, why do you even care?" I assumed that was Mike who responded. "Plus, no girl's ever regretted riding me." I flinched at his smugness, and his wording.

"Yeah, well she did. She said she wished she wasn't here."

"One, I doubt she actually said that, and even if she did you twisted her words. Two, when have you even talked to her. It's not like you were the one who took her home last night. It wasn't like your the one who made her scream out your name." That really made me flinch, I hated being degraded like that.

"Okay I'm gonna excuse that. But, just so you know she doesn't remember any of it. She was drunk and she was barely aware that your name is Mike." He growled at that, I could tell this conversation was over, and once again retreated to his bedroom. God! I just wanted to get out of here. I quickly grabbed my clothes from last night. I couldn't find my jeans, but my shirt was long enough to be considered a shirt-dress. I was simply fed up and decided that I could live without one pair of jeans. So I slipped the rest of my clothes on, threw the towel in the hamper and left to say goodbye.

I reached the living room where a tense atmosphere concentrated. I let a polite smile creep onto my face as I was about to give him the speech. But before I could he launched into another conversation with me. "Do you honestly not remember sleeping with me last night." My politeness completely faded within me. Damn, I didn't want to have to deal with this. And, to be honest I didn't even recognize the guy that I had apparently screamed his name.

"No, I don't," I said curtly, really wanting an escape.

"Oh," his face fell, and I could see his ego being crushed within.

I put my hand on his forearm and I tried to say as gently as possible, "Look, last night was a stupid mistake. I was drunk, and I didn't know what I was doing. Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?" I tried to be polite but I could see his ego taking punch with every word I said. He really was arrogant, I guess.

"I'm sorry, okay. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I know it hurts to hear that someone you made love with doesn't even remember it. And I'm sorry about that. " Trying not to make it worse I decided it was best then to leave. So, I exited the apartment, left on the 5th floor I had five flights of stairs to think about my situation. I hadn't been in a situation like this since freshmen year. God, why do I let these things happen?

Thank God finals are over, it's so nice not having to deal with this and testing. And with a quick realization I also had another thing to be grateful for, winter break.

Thank God for procrastination, something I can now willingly indulge in!

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**Edits: grammar and spelling**


	2. Chapter 1: EPOV

**A/N So, for the "The Tangled Webs We Weave", the story your currently reading, will have a certain pattern. One chapter will being one scene in BPOV. The next chapter will be the same scene in EPOV. If they Bella and Edward aren't involved in the same scene then it will be the same time frame. So, I hope that clarifies what's about to happen.**

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Chapter 1

EPOV

"Do you need you coffee refilled?" the waitress, who had conveniently pointed out her name was Jessica, asked.

"Actually, Jessica," putting emphasis on her name, "I think I'm fine for now." She seemed nice enough, but her attempts at flirting were feeble, but it was fun to humor her. "Aren't you closing up soon?" I asked. She was actually supposed to close about 2 hours ago.

"I'll stay open for as long as you need," she said, trying to be seductive. It didn't work.

"Oh, well, if that's the case..." I said, once again fueling her attempts. I glanced at my watch, good. I could go home now. "Actually, I have to go now anyway." With that I turned on the stool and exited the Starbucks. I chuckled to myself as I left, it was sometimes really fun to mess with people. And the distraction she presented, well, that was just a perk.

I did need the distraction, though; my room mates had a knack of bringing girls home after parties. And, tonight was a fairly big party. It was the end of finals, and everyone was cutting loose. Well, except me.

I slid into my volvo. Her sweet, leather interior welcomed me, and the soft purr of her engine encouraged me. God! I loved my volvo. With that thought I began the short journey to my apartment. It was a little dingy, and definitely messy but that was the result of a space being shared by four guys. Either way it's where I lived. It's where I slept. But, then again those who didn't live here slept their quite a bit. I chuckled at how bitter at how bitter I'd become.

I glided into my parking space. It's only a few feet from the building but my actual residency lies several flights of stairs above. As much as it hurt, I had to kill her engine, ending her soft purr. With a feeling of defeat I began to ascent to my apartment, the place that should be a safe haven. Instead, I was driven out by its other inhabitants and their company.

I knew I was unreasonably bitter. But, how could I be anything else? It's just so annoying. In such a small apartment, it's hard to give them a respectable amount of privacy. Trying to be somewhat a decent person forced me to exile myself from my own place. I sighed at the thought, and continued to trudge up the five flights of stairs.

As I came to my door, I sighed. If I went in there and all I heard were moans and gasps then I would of course turn toward my sweet escape, my beautiful, sleek volvo. If it was over by then, well, I could just be reclusive and become secluded in my bedroom and fall prey to sleep.

With all this in mind and more I slowly opened the door. I listened for each click as the locks turned and moved at my command. I tried to open it quietly enough to know the situation, without interrupting the situation, which would give me a false idea of what I would be walking into.

As the door began creeping open I was blasted with a sound of corny sex music. Guess it was Mike. Mike's an egotistical bastard who doesn't know anything. With that, I knew that I should leave. I could come back in an hour or so, by then he'd be done. As I was about to close the door a loud scream erupted from the bedroom. Best to get out of here fast, and at that I retreated to my sweet escape.

There, in my car, I blasted my stereo and immersed myself in musics of all kind. I needed to get away. I needed to lose myself, forget my problems, forget my room mates, forget my loneliness. I needed to get away from the facts, from reality. I needed to forget how I was an outsider. That besides one friend I was completely friendless.

I needed to lose myself in the lyrics, in the complicated rhythms, in the melodies, in the harmonies. I needed to lose myself in the music. Where I was safe from the outside world. Where I was no longer on earth. Music is like a drug, it takes you far away from your problems. And music didn't kill you.

28 songs later, 2 CDs later, 100 minutes later I woke from my reverie. I looked at the clock 1:30 AM. They were definitely done by now. As much as it hurt I left my volvo again to go to my apartment. I swiftly entered the apartment and retreated to my bedroom. In there without taking off any of my clothing I fell upon the bed and let my consciousness be taken away.

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Ugh.... I groaned. Even when I stayed up 'till 1:30 in the morning my body still signals me to wake up at crack of dawn. Bitter thoughts and strings of profanities raced through my mind. Why, oh why?! My eyes flickered open in my subconscious attempt of waking up. In the flicker of my eyes I noticed that the clock read 6:00. Six! Are you kidding me!? I groaned again. Even on a regular day I didn't wake that early.

But, there was no arguing with my subconscious. I could already feel myself becoming more alert, and a momentary wave of consciousness hit me. I couldn't ignore the fact that I was completely awake now. I had to do something.

I let my eyes slowly open, and adjust to the light. On my bed I stretched, getting ready for the day. As I got out of bed I surveyed the room, and noticed that the room was the way it should be. Emmett was lying on his bed adjacent from me, which meant he had made it home. Good, that meant that I didn't have to pick him up. I wondered if Tyler had made it home, he was usually the one who never made it back. But, I picked him up last time, so it was Emmett's turn, anyway.

As I took my shower, I let the hot water relax all of my muscles. I let it wash away the sins of my neighbors. I let it wash away my own sins. The calming, hot water soothed me; its power could never be replicated. With that last thought I turned off the water, knowing I had to save hot water for the rest of the showers for today.

After drying off I retreated to the living room, and indulged myself in a book. I was rereading the classics, and knew that I was going to get lost in this book. And that was good, I really would hate to be part of the argument that is inevitable. Emmett would lecture Mike and Tyler about being responsible and to stop being an ass.

His girl friends (literally they were just friends) had him wrapped around his finger. Basically, the worst things Emmett did was get drunk and act like an idiot. He'd been with a few girls, but not really since he fell for this one girl. He's been waiting to make his move forever. Rosalie, I think her name is.

After that thought I lost myself in the stories of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. I got lost in the stories of Captain Nemo. I got lost in the absurdities presented. I was completely engrossed in it. Nothing could wake me. Except the booming sound of Emmett.

"Hey, man!" he boomed, as he entered the living room.

"You know, there are people probably still sleeping."

"Oh, yeah, forgot about that," as he quieted his voice. I could here the rustle from Mike and Tyler's room. Guess he didn't get quiet enough. Mike quietly closed the door behind him as he walked down the hall in nothing but sweat pants. His hair was a blonde mess and his eyes were sleepy. He was not going to be happy at Emmett.

As he approached Emmett noticed his disposition. "Why," he grumbled, "are you talking that loud,"he said speaking very passive-aggressively, "this early in the morning," he finished.

"It's 7:30. Perfectly normal hour," Emmett protested. He was really a morning person, despite how late he sometimes stayed up, he usually got up earlier than me and ran and worked out. By the time I woke up he was already taking a post-workout shower, usually.

"For you, maybe. But, do you realize that there are other people in this apartment besides you and your friend," he was directing the last part to me with a very disgusted tone. I didn't even understand anymore what I'd done.

"Oh, you mean that girl in your room," Emmett rebuked.

"Well at least I get laid. You haven't had sex in how long?"

"That's not the point," Emmett said. "You treat girls like their nothing, like there just tools. And you expect us to be okay with it. You may be "the man". But your not the man of the household and I'd like to appreciate my space and not have to worry about your mistresses."

"Whatever, I'm going to get some breakfast. Bye," with that Mike took his keys from the countertop and exited the apartment.

"He's an ass," I mumbled as I turned back towards the book.

"Hey," Emmett interrupted, "I wasn't done talking to you." He sat down on the adjacent couch. "So, how was you night?"

"Yeah, of course, my night was the exciting one." I smirked.

"What did you do?" he asked seriously.

"Just went to Starbucks and drank coffee; do you have a problem with it?" I laughed.

"Yeah, actually I do. You are so broody!" That's hilarious. He completely just sounded like a girl.

"Your starting to sound more like a girl every day. You know that right?"

"Oh, yeah, of course," he said sarcastically.

"Anyway, how was the party?" I asked, honestly curious.

"I actually had some fun. I went with Alice and Bella, and Alice had fun poisoning Bella. Anyway, after having to deal absurdities, I found Rose and got to talking. God! I want her so bad." I laughed at that last part. Emmett was crazy about Rose and she didn't know a thing. As far as she knew, he was just a friend.

"You really need to spend more time with the guys," I said. All his female friends really took away from his manliness, that or made him look like a complete player.

"I need to be able to please her when she's ready, the more I understand the species the better I'll be at pleasing her."

"That's an odd answer," I said with filtering my thoughts. "So your only their friends for your own personal gain?"

"No," he refuted, "that's just a perk."

"Whatever," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, do you know where Tyler is?" Emmett asked, obviously wondering if he had to go find him.

"No, I haven't seen him," I replied curtly. He groaned.

"I guess I'll go find him," he mumbled.

As he left I retreated to the world created by Jules Verne. I let it take me away, into a different world. Into an unknown world. Where no limits existed, where imagination was everything. And that's when a voice gentle and quiet mumbled hey. I looked up from my book, to see who it was. It was obviously the girl that was with Mike, but that's all I knew.

And, when I looked up I couldn't believe my eyes. The girl standing before me was unbelievable. The way her disheveled, long mahogany hair caressed her thin heart shaped face, was mesmerizing. The way her brown eyes dug into your soul, all the while showing you hers was breathtaking. And, her lips, her full, plump limps, made her absolutely irresistible. I'd never seen such a beautiful girl. Not to mention that she was barely covered. One flimsy sheet was all that seperated her from being exposed to me. I could see the faint outlines of her figure, and I could see every curve off her chest. She was stunning in every way. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, but I realized I had to at least recover from my dumbfounded expression. Trying to be as casual as possible I let out a, "Hey yourself." It sounded weak. Damn it! What was this girl doing to me?!

"Um, can I use your bathroom? I kind of need to take a shower," she said while slightly fidgeting. I was nervous I didn't even know why. As nervous as I was it still bothered me that she was the one who exiled me from my apartment.

I ran my fingers through my hair and without thinking I spout off: "I kind of guessed that after what I heard last night." I could still remember everything from when I had come into the apartment last night, the music, the scream. I just couldn't get it out of my head. And trying to picture her, a complete and total goddess, being with him, it was just... ugh... disgusting.

I then realized how much of an ass I had sounded like after I saw the look on her face. She was repulsed. I tried to remedy my mistake by a quick apology; trying to explain how annoying it was to be driven out of your home because your room mates bring girls home. Trying, but probably not succeeding.

"Uh, I wish I wasn't the one getting dragged in here," she said. That confused me. What did she mean by that, did she not like getting laid. As hard as that was to believe, it was either that or that she thought Mike was bad in bed. Which despite his arrogance, it was widely known that apparently he was good in bed.

"Really, the sex was that bad?" I asked, laughing quietly. I couldn't wait to destroy Mike's ego.

"I-I actually don't know the answer to that." What did that mean? Did she have a concussion? I was beyond confused. "Alcohol does weird things to my memory," she explained.

"Then why do you drink?" I asked immediately. Completely and totally confused, I ran through the possibilities in my mind. But, none of the possibilities were reasonable.

"I tend to try to avoid it. And honestly unless its a lot it doesn't tamper with my memory." I could accept that but I needed more.

"Okay, then what was the situation last night?"

"Alice," she said simply. What the hell did that mean?!

"That definitely explains everything," I said sarcastically.

"I was completely stressed out with finals and all," I could tell that this would be a somewhat long explanation. She continued, "I hadn't relaxed in weeks. And she decided I needed to loosen up, since the finals were finally over. Anyway, her idea of making me relax is getting me completely wasted. Usually, I wouldn't comply but I need to loosen up. Oh! Then after I'd only one drink in an entire hour," she gave me a look of shock, obviously faking. She was so mesmerizing. I couldn't help but look at her. Thank God in our society it was appropriate to look at someone when they talked at you. "She decided to take measures into her own hands. She offered to get me another drink. Instead of getting me a mild beer, she took a beer bottle and filled it completely with shots. And, here I am." Finishing her explanation she motioned to her state. But the second I saw her condition, I couldn't take my eyes away. She was just so God damn hot! Everything about her body was making me go out of my mind. I just wanted to have her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to have sex her. I hadn't these desires in a long time. And they were strong.

I realized my faux pas and tried to rectify it. I shook my head and return my gaze to her winsome face. I asked a simple enough questions to continue the conversation I never wanted to end: "So how do you know Alice's side of the story?"

"Oh, because that's the case every time I wake up in someone else's bed not remembering the night before," she said quickly. Continuing the conversation she asked, "So, what's your room mates story; Mike isn't it?"

It's nice to know he's so memorable," I laughed at myself at the thought of him knowing that. "Um, yeah," I continued, "he's your average player. Goes to bars, preying upon innocent, drunk woman. Although usually he doesn't do as good as he did last night," ending in a whisper. I hope she didn't hear that last part. But, apparently she did, because a questioning gaze bore into my face. I lifted my gaze.

"Meaning?" she asked. I didn't really want to have explain it, but I knew it would be weirder if I didn't.

"Meaning, usually the girl walking out of that bedroom doesn't look as beautiful as you." I can't believe I just said that?! How could I be such an idiot. You never say that to a girl when you first meet her, no matter how much she deserves to here it.

She changed topics, "They probably don't look as in much pain as me either. Um, do you have an advil?" How could I've been such an idiot? If she drank so much that she couldn't remember the past night's evenings then she obviously had a horrible headache. Why didn't I ask earlier? After kicking myself sufficiently I replied with a sure. I quickly walked to the kitchen drawer that contained ibuprofen. But as I walked I could feel her eyes locked on me. I wondered how I looked to her? Did she find me attractive or was did look like some kind of despondent guy that lived with a jerk.

As I pulled out the ibuprofen, I realized it was generic. I hoped it would be fine. "Generic's fine, right?" I really hoped so. I didn't want for her to be in pain. Edward! You barely know this girl, actually you don't know this girl. Get over her!!

"As long as it does the job," she replied. I came over to give her the bottle of ibuprofen and as she took it from me her arm was unpinned from her sheet. And I couldn't take my gaze away from her. The sheet slipped and her figure became more defined. Her features became more defined, and left less to the imagination. The imagination that wasn't doing her justice. My mind could never conjure this, the most perfect breasts in existence. She wasn't fully exposed, but it didn't matter. I had never desired anyone this much in my life.

She interrupted my thoughts, probably feeling uncomfortable by my obvious staring, as she said, "Um, I guess I should take that shower now." I was making her uncomfortable. Damn it, Edward! Why couldn't you just be a nice guy.

"That's probably for the best," I muttered and my face fell to the floor, feeling ashamed. She then turned to leave to the bathroom. I hope she didn't think I was a pervert. How could I be such an idiot? How could I even allow myself to think about a girl that way, after her, after everything I went through?

I needed to get lost again, so, I retreated to my chair and tried to get lost in the tales presented. Tried being the key word. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I could here the shower running and could only imagine what she looked like. But my imagining turned into fantasies. I stormed into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. I jumped in the shower and pushed her against the wall. I began kissing her deep and passionately, and when she needed air I began to give feather light kiss along her neck. I began to nibble at her skin. With impatience she pulled my head back up to her face and began to kiss me fervently. I couldn't control my hands, as they began to wander. They groped kneaded her breasts, eliciting gasps from her. I could control myself, I did anything and everything to elicit her beautiful moans and gasps.

I was lost in my fantasies. They were unreal, in the sense that they'd never happen, but they were more real than anything I'd ever thought before. And, then Mike happened. I was lost in my trance when the door burst open. Surfaced from my reverie I realized it was Mike who had entered. He looked somewhat pissed.

"Hey, man. What's up?" I asked. He really looking bad.

"Why do you care?" he said begrudgingly. As if he really hated me. What the hell did I do?

"Because I'd rather not live with someone who's on the edge of flying into a rage and already hates me."

"It's always about you, isn't it." Did he seriously just say that? The guy that had the biggest ego in the world, was thinking that I'm self-centered, that I'm egotistical.

"Seriously?" I asked, mocking his comments.

"You know what, never mind. I-I'm just... just gonna find a distraction."

"Distraction? What kind of distraction. Mike, you can't keep doing this! She actually seemed nice. Do you want to cause every girl on campus regret?" I couldn't believe I was getting in this argument.

"Edward, why do you even care? Plus," he said preparing to be an arrogant asshole, "no girls ever regretted riding me." And, there was that arrogance.

"Yeah, well she did. She said she wished she wasn't here." I needed him to understand what he was doing was wrong, just for once.

"One," he chuckled, "I doubt she actually said that, and even if you did you twisted her words. Two, when have you even talked to her. It's not like you were the one who toke her home last night. It wasn't like you're the one who made her scream out your name." I sighed at how arrogant he could be. I knew that this was his way of dealing with things, but it wasn't fair to everyone else.

"Okay I'm gonna excuse that. But, just so you know she doesn't remember any of it. She was drunk and she was barely aware that your name is Mike." That evoked a growl from Mike, and with that I knew the conversation was over.

I retreated to my chair once again, trying to focus. But this time it wasn't fantasies that kept me from concentrating. I was nervous to what was to happen next. I could hear her in his bedroom, getting dressed.

She strode down the hallway and entered the living room. God, she looked amazing. Her legs were almost completely bare and I couldn't help but stare. This was the most skin I'd seen from her, and my imagination hadn't done her justice at all. Every line, every curve was flawless. I'd never seen such perfection in my life.

She tried to break it down to him easily, but she had to eventually tell him that she hadn't remembered last night. His was ego was severely damaged, but he'd get over it. And, without him able to regain composure, she, sadly, left.

Who was this girl?

What was she doing to me?

I groaned.

Would I eve see her again?

Would I ever be able to let my eyes indulge in her flawlessness?

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**Edit 1: Time references make more since.**

**Edit 2: Spelling and Grammar. Consistency between point of views.**


	3. Chapter 2: BPOV

**Sorry for the delay, I didn't really have much access to a computer yesterday. Anyway, so I'm gonna try and post three times a week; forgive me if that isn't always the case. **

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Chapter 2

BPOV

"God, it's freezing," I mumbled to myself. My legs were barely covered by my shirt and it was ice cold outside. Which, basically means I'm freezing my ass off. Ugh... Why did I have to get lost like this? Why did I have to end up on the other side of Seattle not knowing or recognizing where I was? For all I knew the couple of blocks I had walked, drew me even farther away from my apartment. And, with the fact my phone was left in my jeans, which I had completely forgotten at the time, I was left utterly defenseless. All I could do was wait for someone I knew to drive by. I think Emmett lived around here...

"Hey, little lady," a voice came from behind me, "what are you doing?" I turned on my heal at the voice. It was Emmett!

"Emmett! What are you doing here- no, never mind. Can I use your cellphone?" I asked frantically.

"Yeah, sure." My heart was about to jump out of my chest; I was about to be saved! "But, first you have to answer a question." Why, oh why, did I have to wait any longer to be rescued.

"Sure," I groaned.

"What the** hell **are you doing **here** in **that**?" I laughed at the way he emphasized the words. It was so... Emmett. And, right now, surprisingly enough, normalcy was the most comforting.

"Alice." I grimaced. At that he frowned, but in a knowing way. He already had known that would be that answer.

"I swear, Bella, that girl is going to unintentionally kill you one of these days." I laughed at that. And, the sad thing is that probably would be true. "But, Bella, why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Well, because I couldn't find 'em this morning, and I decided I could live without 'em. Unfortunately, at the time I forgot that my phone was in the front pocket of my jeans." He looked confused.

"Then why didn't you go back to get it?"

"Emmett, I just wanted to be out of this situation. I just didn't want to be there any longer." He smirked at that.

"You'll always run away from the situation."

"I didn't even want to be in this situation, Emmett. Anyway, what are you doing out here?" I asked.

"Oh, I had to just pick up my room mate, Tyler. He was too wasted to make it home last night." I couldn't help but laughing, I may get severely smashed sometimes but I hadn't been so drunk that I passed out in a long time. I glanced in through the window. Whoa, this was my science partner Tyler.

"I didn't know you were room mates with Tyler," I said to Emmett a little blown away, by how little I knew about Emmett's room mates. He hardly talked about his apartment, said it was too much drama. And, I'd never been to his apartment either, even though I was his best friend. He tried to protect me from the drama, like my big brother. I think he literally saw me as a little sister. He tried to protect me from everything.

"Uh, yeah. How do you know Tyler?" he asked, breaking my train of thought.

"Oh, he was my science partner last semester," I said responding, after a brief moment to process what he said.

"Bella, you're an english major," he said in disbelief. "Why were you taking a science class?"

"I needed an extra credit," I said plainly.

"Whatever, so you said you needed to borrow my phone," he said, getting back to the original point, finally.

"Yeah, that'd be great." I took the phone and quickly dialed Alice's phone number. While tapping my foot with impatience, the phone was ringing. Why hadn't she picked up yet? And, then on the fourth ring she finally picked up.

"Yes," she said groggily. Had I honestly just woken her up. It was like 10 o'clock. Although, that was Alice after a party.

"Alice, get your non-existent ass over here right now!" That woke her up.

"Bella, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm be right over. Where are you?!" she said, slightly panicking.

"Um," I looked at the street signs, "I'm the corner of Birch and Ash." That confused her.

"Why are you in that area of town?"

"I don't know, just get over here, okay?"

"Fine, I'll be right there," she said still a little sleepily.

"Hurry!" I yelled, as she hung up. I closed the phone, ending the call.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I gave the phone back to Emmett.

"No problem, but what are you going to doing about loosing your cell?" he asked, curious.

"I've got insurance," I said shaking off the question.

"Okay, whatever. Um, are you, me, and Alice eating at The Great Wall, like planned?"

"Yeah, of course, it's tradition. Hey, Emmett when do you ever hang out with the guys. I swear, you never hang out with the any more." He scoffed at my question.

"Do, I still go to the bar almost every night?"

"Yes," I said while rolling my eyes. It was one of his most annoying traits, he always had to have a couple of drinks at the bar.

"Then there's your answer."

"Whatever," I said as I chuckled.

"Bye Bells." He was using my nickname. He'd pay for that.

"Bye Emmie," I teased using his much more embarrassing nickname. I don't even know how it started, but it was the perfect way to tease him. With that his engine roared, and he sped off. I chuckled to myself, at how insecure he could be sometimes.

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Impatience grew as I waited for Alice to come. It must have been ten minutes since Emmett left. I really just needed to get away from this. From this whole situation. It was one thing to end up in a stranger's bed, it was an entirely different thing to find the stranger's room mate the hot one, the one you'd rather be with. And, if that's not bad enough, your lost and have no idea what to do.

Trying to calm down, my mind immediately wandered to his room mate, Edward. He was gorgeous. Just thinking about him took my breath away. And, somehow despite his beyond believable looks he was really easy to talk to. I couldn't help but wonder how his lips would feel under mine, how well we would fit. I couldn't help my wandering imagination, that quickly took his innocent image and created not so innocent fantasies, with his innocent image.

A car squealed to a halt breaking me from my daydreams. I looked around to see Alice's yellow porsche. I couldn't help but smile at the aura that her car emitted.

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked, worry and panic saturating every syllable she spoke. Relief washed over me, and I finally felt a little calm.

"Yeah, just get me home." I sighed

"Get in," she said while rolling her eyes. I chuckled at how easy it was to get things back to normal. As I slid into the car, she gave me a look that clearly stated she was confused.

"So," she began as I was buckling in, "why exactly aren't you wearing pants." I laughed, I wondered how many times I'd be asked this today.

"I- I couldn't find them, this morning." She thought about that for a second.

"Fair enough, but why did my caller ID say Emmett?" I couldn't help but smile at how this must look to her. She gasped. "Did you- did you sleep with Emmett?" I couldn't help but burst out laughing at how absurd that sounded.

"No, Alice." She was thoroughly confused.

"Then why-"

"Because, he was driving back to his apartment and he happened to see me. I needed to use a cell phone, and he had one. And, I think you can probably do the rest of the math," I replied, secretly scoffing at how Alice's mind worked. She chuckled at my explanation, and began to drive on. "So, where exactly are we?" I asked, as the blur around me was completely unrecognizable. I'd gotten used to the blur by now, it seemed as if everyone around me had a tendency to drive way too fast.

"It's mainly run-down warehouses in this part of Seattle. There are only a couple of apartment buildings, and even less stores in this area. It's almost vacant."

"That would explain why I don't recognize it at all," I said quietly, more to myself than really Alice.

"So, where did you end up last night?" she asked, probably more out of curiosity than worry.

"Well, I don't really remember last night," I said slowly, condemning her with guilt over what she did, "but I did wake up this morning naked in a moron's place. He was a total asshole, and a complete egotistical bastard." She looked at me, using her puppy-dog eyes, trying to plead for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I knew it was wrong to spike your drink. And, I know there's no way I can truly justify and rationalize what I did. But, I just feel like sometimes you need to let loose." It was hard to stay mad at her, but for once I sought to show her the gravity of what she did.

"Alice, I forgive you, but can you please understand one thing?" I asked, trying to show her how much she needed fully understand what she did.

"Sure," she said, sounding dispirited.

"Every time you do this, every time you decide to fill a beer bottle shots and hand it off to me as if its a beer, I end up like this. I end up in a stranger's bed, not remembering any of it." I tried to have the emotion saturate every word I spoke, I really hoped my point was made. I could see the sadness in her eyes, as realization sunk in.

"Not every time," she said trying to defend herself, her position, to hold on to that one last strand of pride, trying to deny the truth, the truth that she now knew.

"Every time, Alice. You know when you just take me out to go partying and I- I drink on my I own accord, this... never happens." The words were barely coming out as I began to choke on them. The cold, hard truth hurt more than I'd previously imagined. I hated hurting her. And, I knew this hurt her. I knew this made her feel like she was a bad friend, like she didn't look after me, like she didn't care. And, that wasn't true, but I knew what I was saying made it feel like I was. I felt horrible, like I was stabbing her with a knife with each word.

I glanced over at her, to see her state. Before, I couldn't look at her, it hurt to much. But, now as I looked at her it felt like I was the one being stabbed. She was on the brink of crying. I didn't want her to think I was bad friend, she was my best friend, I know that she loves me. I know that she'd never intentionally hurt me. "Alice," I said trying to keep her from crying, trying to make her feel better, to comfort her, "I'm not saying you're a bad friend. You didn't understand the situation fully, I don't think. And, you're my friend, no, you're my best friend- and, I know you love me, and as I to you, but you just can't keep doing this. I promise to let loose, but let it be on my terms, okay?" I tried my hardest to be gentle. And, I know wasn't the best at comforting, it's just I had to say something...

"Alice, please," I pleaded, "don't read into this. You're a great friend, and you not always understanding the consequences of your actions is only human. It's actually probably humans greatest error," I mumbled the last part to myself, "And, I want us to forget about this, it's in the past where it shall stay." She remained mute, but I could see the tears well up. I felt so horrible. "Alice, please." She finally looked at me, and saw how sad I look for hurting her like this in her eyes. She couldn't hold my gaze for that long, I guess it hurt to much, so, she returned her eyes to the road.

"Bella," she said, finally speaking, but that one word was filled with so much sorrow I had no idea how to respond. "Is there any way you can forgive me."

"Alice, I've already forgiven you," I said pausing briefly, "I guess I just needed you to understand."

"Are we okay?" she asked, almost choking on the words.

"We're okay," I said using a lighter tone. I knew this would be the end of the sadness and sorrow, that we'd just go back to normal. "Oh, guess what I found out?" I said, full of excitement.

"What?" she asked, totally curious.

"You know my science partner from last semester?"

"Yeah, Tyler, wasn't it. Really shy, kind of an idiot times," I laughed at the way she described him.

"Yeah, that's him."

"Okay..."

"He's Emmett's room mate," I said very proud of the information I'd gathered. We'd been speculating on who Emmett lived with for a while.

"Are you kidding me?!" She chuckled. "That's rich. I honestly can't imagine Emmett living with a guy like him."

"Yeah, I know. I was totally surprised to."

"We're gonna tease him, right?"

"Oh, yeah."

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"Alice, what are you doing?" I yelled across the room. I was lying on the couch and she was in her room throwing around all of my clothes on the floor.

"Well, I was trying to find you an outfit. You don't seem so keen to getting up at the moment," she said glancing over at me, lying on the couch. I really just felt like relaxing, but I also didn't want my mind to wander. My mind was in a constant battle. Either way, I was too lazy to get up. "But, looking at your wardrobe," she grimace, I chuckled to myself. Alice was really into fashion, something I completely ignored, and she hated that I didn't share her passion. Glaring over at me she said, "I'm very disappointed in you, Bella." Her voice was incredibly grave, which startled me for a second. I decided it was best to join her in my room.

As I entered my room, I decided it was best to sit on the edge of my bed to avoid the destruction. She had torn apart my closet, and all of my clothes were strewn across the floor. She turned around to confront me, "What did you do with all the clothes that I got you?" I grimaced, she wasn't going to like this...

"The- they're in the dresser," I said, giving her a half smile. Her jaw dropped.

"What do you mean they're in a dresser?" she stammered. I gave her an innocent half smile, but I knew the guilt was written across my face. "Bella," I could see the anger rising inside of her as her breathing became heavy, "those clothes... are... supposed... to... be... hanged!!!!!!" Yep, I was in for it. With that, she went into a long lecture about respect clothes. I zoned out. It was just incredibly boring. I knew she meant well, but Alice... sometimes gets a little carried away with fashion.

By the time she was done with her rant her breathing was so hard, that I think it was louder than the volume I listened to my music at. I decided it was best to apologize. "Alice, I'm sorry. I'm not into fashion like you. Okay? I don't understand its importance, and I'm sorry for not respecting it." I gave her my most 'I'm Sorry' gaze I could summon. I hoped it worked.

"Fine, Bella, I forgive you," she said, giving up on making her argument. She was annoyed, but that was okay.

"So," I said, a grin playing on my face, "what are you gonna dress me in?" She scowled at me, obviously being playful.

"Fine, I'll dress you," she said with a certain amount of vanity. I scoffed at her facade. She then sifted through my dressers and began her searching.

"So, what did you do last night?" I asked, narrowing my eyes in a playful way.

"So, you're the only one allowed to ask this question?" she asked, I could see that her curiosity was eating at her.

"I don't remember last night!" I refuted, in a whiny voice. She rolled her eyes at that.

"Okay, well... can you at least tell me what you do know." She was using her puppy-dog eyes on me, and it was impossible to refuse.

"You're the most curious person I know," I grumbled quietly. "Okay, I don't remember last night; got that?"

"Well, then at least tell me what happened this morning." She was settling, but I could still see how much she needed this information.

"Fine. So, I woke up naked, with a major hangover-"

"Okay, I kind of assumed that get on with it!"

"You wanna hear this or not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"No no no, I want to hear this," she pleaded.

"Then be patient." I looked around at the scene, she had dropped all the clothes on the floor. "And, please resume what you were doing, you can multitask right?"

"Fine," she said turning around to continue her task of finding me a suitable outfit.

"So, after I made out some of the features in the room I realize the douche who fucked me last night, wasn't there. He'd left a note on his pillow saying, he got breakfast. Anyway, I really felt like I needed a shower and I noticed the bed in the other corner of the room and realized he had a room mate. So, I went to find him, because I wasn't going to be as rude to use someone's shower without asking. So, I took a sheet from the bed and wrapped it around myself. I went down the hall to find his room mate. I did. And, Alice," I said trying to get her attention, once her attention was back on me I continued, "he was... gorgeous. I" mean absolutely, undeniably one of the hottest guys I've ever seen." That immediately caught her attention. And she began pressing for details. "Okay, give me a second to explain. Which will be hard. He has... piercing green eyes, the kind that I thought didn't even exist. The messy reddish-brown hair, and the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen. And, then his body. Oh my God! He has to be 6' 2". And the ways his muscle are drawn over those bones, make him look like the most intimidating thing I've ever seen," I said, my words coming out in a rush. My face fell at the thought of how obsessed I've become with a stranger. Alice noticed.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"Alice, do you not see the problem. He's his room mate. Do you have any idea how screwed up that is!" She then realized the dilemma too.

"Oh." She paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to comfort me. She bit her lip in nervousness. "So, what happened after that," she said deterring the conversation.

"We talked for a little, bit he got me some ibuprofen for the headache. Um, I took a shower, in which some very indecent fantasies were involved. After I was one in the shower I got dried off and dressed in my clothes from last night, excluding my jeans. I broke it to Mike, I think, and left. I got lost, and when I ran into Emmett I called you," I said very nonchalantly, almost not even interested in what happened. I was too consumed with the thoughts of him, and my irrational behavior. This was idiotic and stupid what I was doing, allowing myself to lust for a guy I don't even know, one that happens to be the room mate of a person who I "rode".

"Bella," Alice said, making my attention return to the current situation, "I have your outfit," she said with a smile. I smiled at that; that was Alice always diverting from uncomfortable situation. Which in the case made sense. I knew no one on that side of town, so if I could forget about Edward I could just forget last night ever happened.

"Yeah, that sounds good." She held out a pair of skinny jeans and a blue sequined top, that was sleeveless and a black jacket that would fit on my skin like a second skin, instead of clothing. I chuckled at the absurdity of the outfits Alice picked out. It was cute, of course, but ti seemed more like a party outfit than a casual outfit. But, then again to Alice there's no such thing as casual.

"What?" she asked, confused at my reaction. "You don't like it, 'cause I thought the blue would look really good with your skin tone."

"No, it looks great Alice." A smile played on may face, and her eyes narrowed in a playful way as she handed me the outfit.

"Oh, and those black flats at the back of your closet, will complete you outfit," she said firmly, but I couldn't help but my raise my eyebrows. Did she not understand that I was already unstable and walking, and combining that with the ice outside and the smooth soles of flats was practically a form of suicide.

"Alice you know there's ice outside, black ice, right?"

"Yeah," she replied, slightly confused.

"And you understand my balance issues?" At that she laughed, probably recounting my various falls.

"Yes, Bella I know that you barely can walk on a flat surface with normal shoes on. But, these are flats, not stiletto heals that are a deathtrap-"

"I'll slip." Her eyes narrowed and I knew she wasn't happy, but she couldn't deny the likeliness of my impending doom.

"Fine. Wear your damn converses, I'm sorry for trying to make you look nice." I could hear the anger in the voice, and it hurt me that she thought I didn't appreciate her, but continuing this conversation would only make it worse. So I gave her a weak smile and took the clothes from her hand and retired to the bathroom to change.

...................................................................

"Ready?" I asked Alice, as she was finishing up her final touches. I swear that girl takes everything into consideration when going anywhere, even the most casual place, in public. We were just having lunch with Emmett at the Great Wall, a long honored tradition since we made it to college, but she made it as if we were going to the Oscars. Actually, she objected the idea of the existence of such an informal dining.

"Yeah," she said, as she exited the bathroom.

"Alice you do know we're just going to the Great Wall."

"Yeah," she said passively.

"Okay, whatever," I said while rolling my eyes. "Your car or mine?" She turned around at me and was staring at me like I was an idiot.

"Bella," she said slowly, "what do you think."

"Yours," I said just as slowly as she did. She really did treat everything like an event for the press to hear about. A pleased smile formed on her face. I chuckled to myself at how absurd she could be sometimes.

On the way to the Great Wall silence was the extent of our conversation. I wondered what'd I'd done wrong, but the few attempts I'd made at conversation were silenced before I could pursue them by the deafening tension in the car. What had happened? Finally when we arrived at the restaurant the tension lessened.

At the table I decided to resume my attempts at asking what was wrong. "Alice," I said trying to get her attention, when it finally came to me I continued: "What's wrong?" I asked, trying to convey the worry in my voice and expressive eyes. As she recognized the worry on my face she gave in, and let down her guard.

"It's Jasper." That was surprising, he and her had been together forever and were perfect for each other. They were honestly the only gave me faith in the concept of love.

"What's wrong?" I asked somewhat frantically.

"He wants to get married!" That confused me, Alice had always wanted to have a big wedding and ever since Jasper she had been fantasizing him being the groom. This would of seemed her dream come true.

"How is that a bad thing?" I asked, extremely confused.

"I just don't think I'm ready. There's still a lot I want to do." I was about to tell her that she still can but her phone began to sing out the chorus of "Number One". She immediately reached into her pocket to answer her phone, when her eyes widened at the sight of the collar ID. She quickly locked her eyes on me with a confused and amazed stare.

"What?" I asked a little shakily. This wasn't like her, to be so amazed.

"It's you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to laugh but I was still shaken.

"The collar ID," she amended, "it says Bella Swan."

"Answer it!" I said immediately, a little confused at my own reaction.

"Okay," she said, very shaken. With that she ended the ring of the phone and answered it. Her face relaxed immediately, but in place of her old countenance was a look of utter confusion.

"Emmett?" she asked.

"What?!" I practically yelled. "Why does Emmett have my phone?" I asked, almost breathless from the shock.

"Let me just give her the phone, okay?" she said trying to be gentle. She then handed me the phone.

"Emmett?" I asked, waiting for conformation.

"The one and only," he replied in a happy tone.

"Why do you have my phone?" I asked bluntly.

"I found it."

"What?! How?" Had he found the place where I ended up this morning? Was he really that overprotective.

"They were in you jeans." I was starting to get fed up with how cryptic he was being.

"And how did you find my jeans?" I asked in a very harsh tone. Was he trying to make me mad?!

"You left them in my apartment."


	4. Chapter 2: EPOV

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I was completely busy all day yesterday, so yeah.... It's a little shorter than usual, but your lucky you got this much. I kind of have writer's block currently, so yeah.... Hope you enjoy. Review!**

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Chapter 2

EPOV

Mike stood flabbergasted at what had just happened, when he muttered, "Damn. That's never happened before." Damn was correct. Damn, I've never seen such a girl that was that alluring. Damn, I've never been turned on that fast by a girl. Damn, I've never had fantasies quite as vivid as that one. Damn was right.

I tried to read my book again, but was unsuccessful again. I was enthralled by her, I couldn't get her flawlessness out of my mind. Every piece of her skin that had been revealed was plastered to my mind. My imagination could never do her justice, and for once I was kind of jealous of Mike. I wished I could of seen her, been with her. Maybe not in the state she was in last night, but still... I tried to keep my thoughts away for her by reading the words of Jules Verne, but I wasn't absorbing it. My mind was absorbed in her, and I gave in. I gave into my fantasies and became consumed by the images my mind produced.

I imagined that we were on a date and I was about to take her to her apartment, but instead of turning where I should've I turned into my apartment parking lot, offering a cup of coffee in my apartment. She was hesitant, knowing the attachments to the seemingly innocent offer, but she agreed. As I let her into the apartment she was surprised to see the rose petals littering the room. She was surprised to see the candles that dimly lit the room. I had prepared. I quickly began to make the coffee, still pretending that the pretenses of her coming up her existed, but before I could pour the water, she came up behind me and blew her sweet smell into my ear. I dumped the water in the sink and slowly turned around, a grin growing on my face. Her face was flushed and excited, and without a second of hesitation I took her face into my hands and began to kiss her. She immediately began to kiss back. Our kiss became intense and passionate. As they became even more fervent our hands began to roam each other. As she took a second to catch her breath I continued kissing her, along her neck as she began to try and say that we should move this to the bedroom. I replied with a quick sure between kisses. With that I began to carry her bridal style to my bedroom-

"Edward!" That broke me from my fantasies. It was Emmett. "Wow, I've never seen you so lost in a book before," he said while give me a puzzling look. "Although I didn't know Jules Verne wrote porn," he said making me realize that the fantasies of the girls had manifested physically. I gasped at my realization, and quickly rearranged my position to hide my condition. When was the last time that happened from a fantasy?! He laughed at how I handled it and simply shook off what had happened in the last two seconds. "Anyway I found Tyler," he said proudly. Which was surprising, last time Emmett sought out to find Tyler it took almost the whole day, and it wasn't even lunch.

"Wow, that was fast!" I replied sarcastically.

"Actually I could have been here faster," he said proudly. That confused me. What did he mean by he could have been faster?

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

Deciding to satiate my curiosity he said, "I ran into Bella. Somehow she ended up in this part of town. She'd had left her pants at the place she ended up last night, and was too shaken to go back to get 'em. She really just wanted to get out of the situation. I'm gonna fucking kill that God damned bastard who brought her to these parts just to have a little fun," he said gravely, but I could here the hatred building up in his words. Bella was like his little sister, and for her to be in the dangerous part of down worried him.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't empathize; I didn't have a sister, but I really wish I could've helped.

"It's okay," he mumbled, but I could see how it hurt him. He really hated not being able to protect her; they'd known each other since the second grade and I'm pretty sure her mom made him promise to protect her. "Anyway," he said happily, trying to be free spirited, "I better get this guy to his room." Tyler did need to lie down, he looked terrible. So, Emmett guided him to his bedroom. Despite Emmett's predicament I was happy to know that because of that story my little predicament had been solved.

So with that thought in mind I steered cleared from thoughts of her and thought about what happened to Bella. I thought about the ways that Emmett would kill the son of a bitch who fucked Bella. I was only 30 seconds into my murderous thoughts, when Emmett came storming into the living room holding a razr; it had a light blue shell and key chain that was a "B".

"What's this?" he asked Mike; anger was about to consume him and I could that his breathing was becoming heavy.

"It looks like a cellphone," he said nonchalantly.

"What's it doing in our apartment?!"

"Well we all have cell-" Mike began.

"What is this cellphone doing in our apartment," he amended, the anger and rage had overwhelmed him wholly.

"Uh, I don't know," Mike replied as he began to flip through his magazine, he was obviously getting tired of Emmett's antics.

"You should," Emmett said gravely. Mike looked up from him magazine and raised his eyebrows.

"And why is that."

"Well it was in the pocket of the girl's jeans you slept with last night," he rebuked. That surprised Mike.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"When I was in your bedroom it was in a pair of jeans. Jeans that clearly weren't meant for men, jeans that were those of the girl you bagged last night," he said gravely.

"Okay, and what's your problem, then? I'll find her, and return her stuff."

"Oh, you won't have to," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. Mike was even more confused than before and Emmett's crypticness was only making his mood worse.

"And why is that, Emmett?" he asked bitterly.

"Because I'll return it to her." That really made him mad. Emmett was becoming more and more arcane, something that annoyed us all. And, my attention was captivated in the scene before me. I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for the big secret to be revealed. And Emmett kept delaying the revelation.

"Emmett, just tell me what's going on," Mike said, finally fed up with his games.

"Why don't you," but before Mike could respond Emmett continued. "Why don't you tell me who you brought home last night? Why don't you tell me who my best friend is? Why don't you tell me who it is that I've known since the second grade and to me is like my little sister?" My eyes grew wide. Did he mean to tell us that Bella, the Bella, was the same girl Mike had nailed last night. That Bella was the same girl I'd fantasized over. I couldn't believe this was happening. My breathing became rapid as the realization hit me. I glanced over at Mike who was also beginning to realize what Emmett just said.

"Y- you don't mean to say... that Bella... was the girl... I s-slept with last night?" Mike stammered. I could see the fear building inside him. We both knew how Emmett felt about guys who took advantage of his "little sister". He'd already told me that he wanted to kill this one.

"That's exactly what I mean," he said grimly. I could see demons possess him as he became no longer Emmett. Left in the void was anger and rage. Uncontrollable rage.

"I- I'm sorry," Mike whispered feebly, too terrified to make his apologies heartfelt.

"Mike, did you even think to ask for a name?" he asked, jaw clenched and breathing heavily.

"No, not really," he whispered, barely audible. I could here the shame in his voice.

"How could you be so reckless? It's one thing to fuck a random stranger and treat her like dirt. But, to do it to my best friend?! Weren't your actions despicable enough!?!" he yelled, full of hatred and passion. "She's like my little sister, Mike. Can you not get that through your thick head? Can you not understand that I feel like I have to protect her? Do you not understand that you just treated my little sister like every other girl you treat every other girl, like they're just a tool for your pleasure, that there only purpose in life is to fuel your ego? Do you not get that it's bad enough for you to treat a random stranger? And, then do it to someone who isn't a random stranger, one that means something to me? Do you not see your faults? Do you not think that what you're doing is bad? Do you not think about your actions?! Huh, please indulge. Tell my why on earth you think it's okay what you do?! Tell my why you think its okay to prey upon the vulnerable."

Emmett was scary; I was terrified and I wasn't even the one who was being yelled at. Muscles taught, jaw clenched, breathing labored, and the power of his voice made him undeniably the most terrifying creature alive. Even though I hadn't done anything per-se I felt horribly guilty. Had I honestly thought of Bella, his best friend and "little sister" that way? How sick could I get? How could I ever imagine those things after what happened let alone, but about Bella. I mean yeah she was inconceivably hot, but she was Bella, she was forbidden.

"I'm so sorry," Mike apologized. He succeeded in making it sound convincing, but it wasn't by any means enough for Emmett.

"Just go," he said venomously. Mike understood that Emmett needed time and without a word he left. Emmett was finally calming down, but still very pissed. But, I think it was safe to say no one's life's endangered anymore. "What a bastard," Emmett muttered resentfully to himself.

I felt so guilty. How could I have fantasized about Bella? How could I have wanted her? How could I have let that happen? How could I do that? She deserved better than me, she deserved better than any of us, that's the whole reason she was never allowed to come over here.

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I tried to read Jules Verne, and for the first time today I succeeded. I needed to kill time, I needed to be able to hold off on the thinking of what I've done, and the distraction the book presented was great. I would eventually think about it, but really needed time. I needed time to get over the shock. I needed time to give me perspective. I needed time to have all of this blow over for everyone else. I needed time to eventually face my sins. I was too close to them right now, and I needed to look at them clinically. I needed to see myself from an outsider's point of view. And, I couldn't do that until I had time and space.

After an hour of reading my book Emmett was still moping around, still pissed, and still had to attend a lunch with Bella and Alice. I felt like I was locked in here to he left, and I needed to get out. Get away. Get away from the drama. Get away from my faults. Get away from my guilt. And, I felt trapped here. I felt like I was in a prison. And, with that in mind a plot developed.

I had planned on staying here for christmas break. I could have the whole apartment to myself. I could skip the drama of home. I wouldn't have to deal with the place I left behind, but that's exactly what I needed. I needed to leave the present for the past. I needed to get lost in the drama of a place where I could escape easily. It was the perfect escape. The perfect distraction.

So, as my idea became fully developed I came up with a game plan. I would leave today, right after lunch. I would drive to Chicago, and arrive there in a few days, surprising my parents who thought I'd stay away; like I had the last three years. I would make up a sap story for missing them, and needing to see them. And, I would get caught up in all the drama of the past and forget about the more recent events.

As I finished figuring out what I'd do, I felt fairly satisfied with myself. It was somewhat genius, and it definitely would work. So, I retreated to my room to begin packing. Emmett was in there talking on Bella's phone. "You left it in my apartment." God, I was trying to get away from this mess, and yet it kept coming back so I quickly zoned him out without letting another word from his mouth enter my mind. I began to pack, knowing that it would take a while. As I packed mindlessly I refused to let my thoughts wander. It took a great deal of time, and by the time I was done the scenery had changed. Emmett had left for lunch, Tyler had finally woken from his coma-like state, and Mike was still out. I was the only one left in the apartment, and the space felt good. I realized though if I wanted to make it to Chicago before Christmas I had to get going immediately.

On my way out I grabbed a granola bar to sate the hunger developing in my stomach. With out another thought I left the apartment, locked up and began to embark on the adventure of the past.

I began to commence the journey that would bring me to my sweet escape.

I began to get away from the present situation, in turn to deal with the past situation.

I began to undertake a situation that I tried to escape by coming here, only to use it now as an escape.


	5. Chapter 3: BPOV

**A/N: I'm really, really sorry for the delay. I've kind of figured out that I'm actually a quite slow writer. So, yeah... In trying to post this as soon as possible there may be some spelling and grammatical issues and I'm sorry for that. Okay, on the topic of the story I'm gonna try and break Christmas Break into 2-3 chapters. I need each character to both be more thoroughly developed, as well as that they both need time to think. To get perspective. So, I'm sorry that these next couple of chapters won't contribute directly to the main plot, but I think its needed. Anyway, hope you like it! Oh, and I do appreciate the reviews. **

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Chapter 3

BPOV

My eyes widened at that. What did that mean? That he was room mates with Mike, Edward, and Tyler? Was he mad at me? What did this mean?

"Where are you?" I asked. I needed to see him right now. A phone call wouldn't do. I needed to know what this meant, how he felt. And him being cryptic wasn't a surprise, but I could read him easily when he stood in front of me.

"Um, at my apartment," he said, confusion saturating his voice.

"Well, get over here now."

"Okay," he said, sounding a little disoriented. "Uh, I"ll be there in five minutes," he said and hung up the phone. I looked up at Alice, a little baffled.

"So, what it is it," she said curiously, needing to know what just happened, needing to know what exactly put that expression on my face.

"You won't believe this," I said a little distantly.

"Of course I will," she said supportively.

"You know how I left my phone at that guy's apartment..." I said slowly, stilled stunned by the revelation.

"Yeah, of course I remember," she said knowingly, a sweet smile slightly playing on her face, trying to make me feel better.

"Turns out, that apartment is shared by four people: Mike... Edward... Tyler... and Emmett." I said so slowly, that I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't believe this. It was almost incomprehensible. I slept with Emmett's room mate. I didn't even know what to think of it. Would he be mad at me. I mean, he did have a habit of being judgmental and overprotective. And, not to mention that in a couple of hours his big secret has been revealed. And, despite how curious I've been in the past about his secret, I wasn't now. I was almost terrified by what this meant. I was too stunned even fathom how I felt. In a way I was intrigued. I now knew who Emmett's room mates were. And, that was just interesting. But, on the other hand, I had no idea how he was reacting. And, I was scared. For me, and for Mike. He was bound to be mad at that guy. And, he gets pretty worked when he gets angry.

I looked back up at Alice. Her jaw was dropped, and I could see the surprise on her face. She was trying to comprehend it, just like me. We waited there felt like hours, anticipating Emmett's arrival. Understanding where things stood was desideratum. I couldn't begin to decipher what I felt until I knew what this meant.

He finally arrived, and relief washed over me as I sighed. The anxiety I felt began to lessen, but it wasn't completely gone. Just because he was here and didn't look completely deranged didn't mean every thing was okay. I stood up in the restaurant to get his attention. He began to lumber toward me. "Where you have been?" I barked, as he sat down.

"I told you. I was at my apartment, and I kind of had to drive here. Do the math," he said, somewhat annoyed. I wondered how annoyed he really was.

"Okay, I get that," I said passively. If he wasn't going to be straight forward than neither was I.

He sighed. "Bella, I'm not mad at you." I guess he caught the defensiveness I was feeling.

"Then tell me what you do think, because I can't even begin to understand what I feel, until I know where everything stands," I said, the words coming out in a rush. I couldn't keep my emotions in check. It was impossible to even begin to... comprehend it.

I sat down, realizing that I was still standing. He finally spoke. "Bella, I'm mad at Mike. He was the one who took advantage of you," he said putting emphasis on he. "I hate that you ended up there. And I blame for it. So, please. I'm not mad at you." He said this slowly, as if I was two year old. And I knew then that he wasn't. He was treating me like he did normally. Always teasing. And, that felt good. To no longer have to worry. And, interestingly enough I didn't even feel like thinking about it right now. I just wanted life to go back to normal.

"Okay," I said firmly. "Ready for some chinese!" I said, a smile wide across my face. Alice groaned; Emmett chuckled at her reaction. And, with that we indulged ourselves at the buffet. I got some rice, and toppled some chicken and broccoli on it. After we all sat down the conversation began, again.

"So, Emmett," I taunted, for both my amusement and to assuage my curiosity. "What exactly did you do to Mike?" His face became grave. He obviously didn't want to bring this up, but once everything was revealed I wouldn't be curious anymore.

"Bella, I'm not sure I should tell you that."

"But then your just creating another mystery. And, that only feeds my attempts to find out," I refuted smugly. I was proud of how composed I was, despite how shaky I felt about the situation on the inside. He growled at my response, and his face was impossibly dour.

"Okay, I'll tell you. I got mad, really mad. And, yelled at him. I told him leave, and if he comes back..." His jaw was clenched, and he sounded as if he was almost disappointed by his own behavior.

"Is that it? I was hoping for something more juicy," I said, trying to lighten the mood. Emmett chortled at my attempts, and Alice just snickered.

"Yes," he said finally, after taking his sweet time laughing at me.

"Okay," I said, smiling sweetly. I looked down at my plate and realized that it would get cold soon, if I didn't hurry up.

So, we finally got to eating with minimal conversation in between. And as always, the food was amazing. I looked up at Emmett and Alice, while picking at the remains of my dinner. I felt completely and totally full. Emmett had two complete plates of food. God! he was hilarious when he ate. He was still digging into the food, as I looked up. Alice was finished, but she was the kind that ate little and ate quickly. How else could she keep her miniscule frame?

"So, Alice explain to me why Jaspers proposal was a bad thing?" I asked, bringing the conversation back to the topic before Emmett got involved. That stopped Emmett's continuous intake of food, and captivated his attention.

"What," he said dumbly. His mouth was hanging over the plate in mid-movement. I chuckled at the sight.

"Oh, I guess I didn't tell you. Jasper proposed," Alice said sweetly.

"So, what's your answer?" I asked, eyes narrowed in my investigation.

"I don't think I'm ready," she said slowly, her emotions getting turned.

"Don't you love him?" I asked, raising in a eyebrow in question.

"Yes, of course I do," she said as she beamed, probably remembering Jasper and how he made her feel. "I mean he's like the best thing that ever happened to my, and we just click, ya know?" she said trying to express her feelings. I understood what she was trying to say, and at times like these I was extremely jealous.

"Then what's the problem. I mean, unless you don't think he's the right one," I said, trying to challenge her. It worked.

"That's not it," she said firmly. "I just don't wanted to be labeled as married until I'm ready. I feel like I just, that there's still a lot in life that I want to do before I am branded with a label like married. I just..." she said, trying to form her thoughts into words, "I hate the idea of being judged, because of a stupid title. What will people think of me, married right out of college. How can I be a successful in my career like that?" I could tell how hard it was for her to admit this, but I knew that it was necessary for her to formulate her thoughts.

"Does it matter?" I asked. Only realizing a few moments later that, that didn't make complete since. "I mean, does it matter if people label you. Your still the same person. And, personally if I were you I wouldn't sign with a company that judged you like that anyway." She looked up at meet slowly, seeing the truth in my words.

"I guess not," she mumbled feebly.

"So, what are gonna do?" I asked, pushing her forward to come to a decision.

"I'm gonna say yes," she said, more confidently.

"That's my girl," I said with a smile on my face. But, secretly I was jealous. I'd never bee in love, and to see what it could be like and not have it hurts. To see how deeply in love she is, it hurts to not be. And, I can't help but be envious of what she had.

"So, Emmett are you finally done with lunch," I said looking over at him. He did look like he was done, but knowing Emmett...

"For now." I chuckled at his reply.

"Then are you ready to go?" I asked. If we wanted to make it home today we would have to leave immediately.

"Yeah, I've got my stuff in the car," he replied. "Are we taking your car or mine?" he asked, looking a little confused. I laughed at his reaction.

"Yours. I came her in Alice's so mine is still at the apartment building." And, then I realized something. "Damn it," I mumbled, "I left my bag at the apartment building, can we stop quickly there so I can get my bag," I said, my eyes pleading for him to say yes. Instead of a direct answer he rose and eyebrow, and chuckled to himself while mumbling a yes in return. "Good," I replied, being a little smug about getting my way. "Alice," I said to capture her attention. "We're gonna go now, so I guess this goodbye. Have a great Holiday Break," I said with a smile on my face. We went around the table to give her a goodbye hug, and left the restaurant.

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After stopping by my apartment to get my bags, we hit the road. Conversation had come to a standstill. I had things to think about, and he wasn't going to push me into a discussion that was uncomfortable. So, I thought about how I felt about the situation I was leaving behind.

I could actually grasp the concept now that Emmett wasn't mad at me, but I still had to figure how I felt about it. Obviously, I was relieved that Emmett wasn't mad. I was happy to have my phone back. I was distressed about getting into a flashback situation again. I was even more distressed that I felt a strong attraction to the Mike's room mate, Edward. I was confused on what Emmett would think about my opinion of Edward. He was obviously hot, but it seemed that there was more to him. Although at this point I think my attraction to him had been dubbed lust. So, I understood that. But, I didn't understand why Emmett had kept him from me. I knew he didn't like to talk about his room mates because of all the drama there kept in, but why wouldn't he introduce me to a guy like that. So, I decided to ask. It was all I could do at this point, and there was no escape from me on the open road ahead of us.

"So, Emmett," I said slowly, feeling a little childish for even asking this, "who's Edward." He glanced over at me from the steering wheel.

"Oh, he's my room mate." I chuckled at his response.

"I kind of guessed that. But, I mean what's he like." He glared at me then, looking away from the road.

"Emmett, look at the road!" I yelled, as the Jeep was about to swerve into another lane. He quickly remedied that, and was glaring now at the road. "Look, all I'm saying is I know who Tyler is. I can guess who Mike is. I definitely know who you are. So, he, Edward, is the only last mystery."

"Fine," he said succumbing to my request, "he's my room mate And, he's a good friend of mine. He's a music major, and likes the classics when he it comes to reading. In that respect he's boring, but he's really easy to talk to, and his stories are always interesting."

"That's it?" I asked. I would've sworn there was something more to him. But then again, it was just attraction.

"Well, he's kind of broody and all. But, that's only because of his past."

"Which is?" I said, continuing my interrogation.

"Look, he won't tell me most of it. He really hates to think about it. But, from what I've gathered his parents died and he lives with his aunt and uncle. He had a girlfriend he was crazy psycho, and destroyed his life. I don't know how, I don't know when that all I know," he said, kind of getting fed up with how I was continuing a conversation that wasn't necessarily the most pleasant.

"Okay," I said plainly.

And, from there on he drove in silence. I was left to ponder the information uncovered in my inquiries. I thought about what exactly that could do to a guy. One, his parents died, and if that's not bad enough his girlfriend somehow ruined it. I could understand why he'd just mope around. If that happened to me I don't know what I'd do. But, this divulgence of information did explain a lot. It explained why he was he was sulking around in a dingy apartment when I fist saw him. It explained why I'd never seen him on campus, he wasn't the type to get out much. It explained a lot.

But, still even after knowing there was a reason he acted the way I did I was mesmerized by him. I still felt like there was more to him. I felt, I don't know, just something... I knew it would be weird to have any kind of relationship with Emmett's room mate, but I don't even know if what I felt was anything. I couldn't decipher it exactly... And, it confused me.

I mean he was unbelievably hot, but it's odd. It's like I can't even get him out of my mind. I've never had problems obsessing about a guy before. Well, not since high school, but I was a teenager then... I mean, it's one thing to be interested but to be completely captivated by appearance... It just makes me feel so shallow. And unworthy. Because, when I think about him I feel plain in comparison to his god-like appearance.

I sighed, at the realization of my obsession. One that hadn't even developed when I first saw him. I didn't think twice about saying goodbye to him, because at the time I was just wanting to get out. Want to get away from it all. Even, wanting to get away from him. I can understand wanting to get away from Mike, but Edward... Now, I knew that it was wrong. And, I knew it was twisted and a disaster waiting to happen. And I can't even began to justify what I was feeling. I didn't like getting in relationships, and a messy relationship was not where I wanted to begin. I mean, obviously I'm not a prude, but I didn't get why people felt the need to be with someone, if it wasn't for love, if it wasn't forever. But, all of this didn't deny the attraction I felt. I couldn't get him out of my head. I couldn't stop his image from being plastered in my mind. I couldn't stop my mind from manipulating that image to include me. I couldn't stop the fantasies following that...

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"Bella," Edward murmured. I was woken from my dreams to see me lying horizontally against his chest, Edward's chest. I crawled up to his face to kiss him. His eyes were sleepy and I realized we were lying on the couch and must have fallen asleep while watching TV. As I began to kiss him, he began to respond recognizing my action. Are movements were in perfect synchronization as our kiss deepened. I was full of eager, but we were being slow and passionate. I flickered open my eyes between kisses for a second to see him before me. He was beautiful, and adorable, and I couldn't take me eyes of him. As much as I wanted to continue I couldn't help giggle at how truly eager he was to continue. His eyes slowly opened, giving me a gaze that questioned what I was doing. I gave him a sheepish look and repositioned myself in a more suitable pose, slightly teasing him. He frowned at my action, and in return grasped my neck and pulled my face toward him, while his other hand was on the small of my back pulling me onto his lap. I positioned my legs on either side of his and began to kiss him with full force. Every ounce of me was poured into that kiss. Every emotion, every desire, every thought was delineated in the kiss. Everything I felt was so clear in that kiss. It felt amazing to give myself away to someone like that. To express something mental and emotional so physically.... it felt so right. Never before had something so physical been anything more than biology. And to connect mental, emotional, and physical in one act was unbelievably amazing.

"Bella," a voice called. I groaned trying to continue the dream in my head. Trying to not let reality sink in. Trying to return to my salvation. The salvation that was simply my thoughts, my mind. But I could feel that I was being pulled back to consciousness by the recurring call of my name.

Slowly opening my eyes, I was greeted by a smiling Emmett who's should I leaned against. I blinked quickly, confused. Where was I? But, then the memories flooded back, and I remembered that we were driving back home. I always did fall asleep in the car. And, with Emmett's driving that was probably a good thing. I chuckled at my odd behavior, as I began to become more aware of my surroundings. I quickly sat up, realizing I was still leaning on Emmett's shoulder. Emmett burst out laughing at my odd and quirky behavior. "Don't laugh," I said, trying to bring a serious tone to my voice. It didn't work. I couldn't help but laugh at my own behavior, so accusing him wrong of doing so seemed like idiocy.

"So, are you ready to face the 'rents?" I rolled my eyes at his question. Of course I was; I hadn't seen Charlie since the fall. Whenever I had free time on weekends Alice always stole me away, so really this was my only guaranteed time here.

"Hmm," I said trying to not be outright frank and a little clever, "Well I'm not sure you could use parents in plural form, considering that Charlie's the only parent here, for me that is." Emmett laughed at my analyzation.

"Yeah, well whatever. Just go in and have fun with your parent," he said, putting emphasis on parent.

"I will. But I'm actually kind of surprised by you."

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"Because I would of never guessed you to know what plural meant." And, it's true. I was the english major, so I obviously knew all the grammar stuff. But him to know plural, well that was a shock. I mean, I guess to even get into college he'd have to know it, but I'd assumed he would of forgotten all that kind of stuff, after not having any use for it. He rose an eyebrow at my response, and simply shooed me out of the car. Only a second before he began to rev the engine did I grab the bag quickly from the passenger of the jeep. So, bag in hand, I walked up to the front door of my house. A house I hadn't been in for over four months.

Considering it was my house to it felt a little unnecessary to knock, but it felt weird not doing so. I mean a lot could of changed in four months. What if Charlie found a woman? What if he was waiting to tell me now? What if I walked in on them, when they were in the middle of something? How weird would that be? So, with the hope of avoid awkwardness I rang the doorbell. But a few seconds later, the doorknob began to turn. And I was greeted to a cheery-faced Charlie.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, in excitement to see me. I couldn't help but smile back. It had been forever since I'd seen him, and it really felt good to be home. It actually hadn't been to this house for Christmas since sophomore year- last year I visited Renee. And, it really felt amazing to be home again.

I quickly entered the house. Like any holiday, the house was scantily decorated. A small, sad tree lay in the corner of the living room with only a dozen or so ornaments hanging on it. Honestly, it made Charlie Brown's tree look grand. Beyond, the tree in the corner and the lights outside the house was normal as usual.

After a few awkward questions and comments I went upstairs to unpack. I didn't bring that many extra clothes, outside of those that needed to laundered. So obviously with approximately two weeks of holiday break I would not be able to survive on two pairs of clothes. Laundry is definitely a high priority. After unpacking the few garment into my dresser I emptied the rest of my clothes into my laundry hamper. It wasn't much to do, but the silence was nice.

Instead of thinking about anything or letting my mind wander I just listened. I listened to the rhythmic rain pounding against the roof, a sound that used to be unsettling but had lately felt more soothing. It was nice. I listened to the floorboards squeak as I shifted my weight. I listen to how everything was just so calm. I didn't let my mind think of anything, but instead let it be consumed by the calmness. I let it be silent for once, not pushing in answers or thoughts out of it. It felt nice. Not to think about anything. To leave my worries behind. To leave the rest behind, event the good memories. It felt refreshing. And, though it wouldn't last long I knew that for right now the temporary silence was enough.

I relaxed on my bed. Just lying there. Not thinking. Not dreaming. Not worrying. I just lay there, totally and completely relaxed. Just listening. I knew in the back of my mind I would have to make dinner soon, but I didn't feel like rushing this. Going back to the noise of the world wasn't the most pleasant thing to go to from this state. I didn't feel the need to return to where things were demanded of me. I mean, obviously some things our always demanded, but I didn't feel like dealing with them immediately.

After an hour of so, of relaxation my own hunger began to bother me. So, I begrudgingly walked down the stairs, to where the world demanded things of me. To where silence no longer existed. I went to the kitchen to find a very poorly stocked kitchen. About the only thing I could make with the current provisions I could make eggs. Nothing more, nothing less. But, luckily I did find a frozen pizza in the fridge. I think it was from the last time I was here- I got him one so he could actually have real food as a meal, or at least a substitute that was a worthy opponent. I took out of the fridge and began the easy process of heating it up.

Prep. time was nonexistence so I just had to wait for the oven to heat, and to pop it in there for maybe 20 minutes. Not too long; my stomach could definitely wait 20 minutes. Charlie was in the living room watching the game, but luckily he didn't bother me. I guess he didn't really know what to do since I hadn't seen him since summer.

After the pizza was finished cooking I called him in from the living room. "Hey Dad!" I said sweetly, trying to be polite. Conversation wasn't the most frequent thing in this house, but it couldn't hurt to try and be somewhat sociable.

"Hello," he said in reply. His eyes not meeting mine. It was like he either didn't want to talk to me, or he didn't want talk about something specific. Either way it didn't seem like talking sociably would be at the top of our agenda, tonight. Which was fine by mean, the quiet was really nice. And, the whole being pressured into a constant flow of conversation thing was never a problem here. Which, just made him even easier to live with. Ya know, I could see the whole living alone thing if it felt like this, instead of being lonely.

As we began to eat the pizza, that in this case was our dinner, no words came from our mouths. No sounds either, except for the occasional clearing of the throat. Which, as I said before, felt nice. The silence I mean. I only nibble at my pizza despite the ache in my stomach, because like before I didn't feel the need to rush. I felt like just taking it slowly for once. "Everything in life happens so fast, we never take the time to enjoy it." I think that's a variation of a quote, and however cheesy it usually sounds in this kind of moment it was obvious that it was the truth.

After finally finishing my slice of pizza, I began to wash the dishes. Charlie had actually already finished, and went back to the living room to watch the game. So, for once I wasn't asked if I didn't want to wash the dishes, and instead I just got then enjoyment to do them.

It was a mindless chore that was in a way relaxing. And after doing that I was left with nothing to do. Which, in a way was nice, no pressure. It was relaxing. After a moment of indecision, I concluded that I'd get ready for bed, despite the how early it was, and just relax while reading a Jane Austin book in bed. Eventually, when I got tired enough I could simply turn of my bedside lamp, and got to sleep. It had ben a really long day. I didn't want to have to get ready after I was utterly ready to fall asleep, so this plan made the most since.

After having to explain to Charlie that I was going to sleep, I got ready for bed and acted on the mental plan I had made. When I was done with my routine I slipped into my bed, and began to read the works of Jane Austin. I began to read Mansfield Park. It was the classics that had always captured my attention, and this like any other did the same. I was immediately engrossed in the novel...

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Some time passed before drowsiness overwhelmed my ability to read. I then fell prey to sleep. At first it was a dreamless sleep. The kind that the body used to simply recharge. But, then as time passed I did begin to dream. The dreams were confusing and messy, and were completely unrealistic. Not just in the sense that they'd never happen, but they didn't even make sense. But, mainly they all revolved around Edward. Why couldn't I get him out of my mind?! It was like he just kept creeping back into it; it was like my subconscious wouldn't let me discard his memory. Every time I'm in a state of weakness, he takes advantage of it and uses it to plaster his face to my mind.

And, I'll admit that the dreams were... well, fantastic. On the one hand, I couldn't possibly decipher what was even happening- in one I was on a navy ship in the South Atlantic, and in another I was in the Arctic. But, on the other hand, the content of the dreams made them unreal in the sense that nothing could be that good. I couldn't even understand how my imagination was that creative; I couldn't process how it was possible to even conjure those feeling in emotions mentally, even subconsciously.

"Reeeeeeeeeee!" buzzed the alarm clock that brought me back to reality. I had been awake for awhile, pondering my dreams from last night. I couldn't even begin to express how frustrated I was. I couldn't get him out of my head. And, although it wasn't exactly a bad picture, I wanted to get away from the events of yesterday and the night before. And, as much as I could try limiting his memory to only him, was virtually impossible. Without meaning to be he was a reminder of what I'd done.

Realizing that the annoying buzz from my alarm clock continued. I turned it off, and began the process of waking. Slowly opening my eyes, I could the clock's time came into view. 9 o'clock. Later than even yesterday. I rolled over onto the other side of the bed to see the suns rays bombarding through the window. It was clear. It was sunny. It was beautiful. Like the switch of a light my day was made right then. I smiled at the thought and continued my routine.

After taking my shower, getting dressed, and eating breakfast I was set for the day. A day of no plans. Just like the rest of this break. Obviously I would see Emmett, but other than that I was completely and totally free.

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That day, the next, and the one following that pretty much followed the same routine. I woke up, engaged in my morning routine. I read for a little bit, then checked my email. At about noon I went over to Emmett's house and hanged out there for a while. Around 6 or so I came home and began to cook dinner, which with a trip to the grocery store had now become more interesting. After eating the dinner I cooked, I washed the dishes. Subsequent to this I joined Charlie in the living room, and absentmindedly watched whatever game was on. As usual, no conversation was in existence in the room. The sound of the Sports Announcer Guy was the only noise coming from the house. And, in times like this, where my mind was left free to wander, he crawled in. Despite my best efforts at trying to keep him out of my mind, he kept recurring. It was like clockwork; the moment I began to let my mind wander it unintentionally settled on him. I hated the ties and baggage that his face brought, the memories that replayed in my head. The reminders of the mistakes I made. I hated that, but loved the fantasies I humored myself with. All were completely unrealistic, but all were fantastic. The things was, even if he did want me, we could never be. Too much drama would exist. And, I knew this, but I willingly gave into chimerical fantasies.

And, then after such a boring day, sleep came. And, accompanying sleep were dreams. Dreams, so fantastic that my imagination could barely conjure them. They were amazingly vivid, and I was lost in everything. I was lost in the way I imagined him perfectly. How I had conjured every facet in him, even though I'd never seen him exposed. I was lost in how I had conjured exactly how he would feel on me, or better yet in me. I was lost in the very idea of us. It was unrealistic. It was just physical attraction, but an attraction I could not deny. The lust ran deep. And, it overwhelmed my good judgement. And, it obviously had taken over my subconscious. It was emphatic that he stood out for some reason. A reason I couldn't define.

I had to get away from the issue. It was compulsory for me to forget about him. He only tied me down to a situation that was vital that I leave in the past. But, no matter what method I used he was there. Plastered to my mind. He was unforgettable.

I tried to keep him out of my mind. I tried to think about other things. But any chance my mind got to wander, it wandered to him. It was Christmas in two days, for God's sakes! I wasn't even excited. I mean, I usually didn't make a big deal out of the holiday's but I usually had some excitement. But no, not this time. Instead the excitement I felt was due to my fantasies and dreams of him. God! What's happening?!


	6. Chapter 3: EPOV

**A/N: I'm really, really sorry for the delay. Um... I guess I needed perspective... Just as a warning there is no action in this chapter, everything is mental. I wanted to give you some insight into Edward's mind. **

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Chapter 3

EPOV

Procrastination. My worst fault. I had been driving for only four hours, but I had taken every rest stop that I could. I had taken the long routes. I had intentionally got in traffic jams. All to simply avoid my homecoming. It wasn't that I hated my family, I loved Carlisle and Esme. But, I hated the drama of my town. And, to say I was scared shitless of what's to come is an understatement. I mean, I really didn't want to deal with her, deal with that bitch from hell. Tanya. The very name aroused hatred within me. And, I knew the whole point of going back was to deal with this issue as an escape. An escape I needed, but the closer I got to my destination, the more I felt like I what I dubbed an escape to be a trap. One that I might not escape.

But, the procrastination that I had used to delay my return home, hasn't delayed my thoughts of her, Bella. She was forbidden. It was wrong to think about her, but I couldn't help. And, the things was I knew Bella through the stories Emmett's told. I knew how she worked, how she behaved. And my original reason to stay away from her had disappeared with this fact. Because, she was Bella I knew she wasn't crazy. I knew she wouldn't be another Tanya. And, that scared me. Because, now more than before I really wanted to pursue her. She was Bella, despite how forbidden she was, I wanted her. She was gorgeous, impossibly so. She was smart, witty, warm hearted, and everything good. She was Bella. And, I'm selfish enough to want that for myself.

And, it scared me that she was forbidden. I was terrified that Emmett would find about my attraction toward her. I wanted her, badly. And, it was sad. Because I could never have her. I could never do that to Emmett. I couldn't let her be infected by me. She was too pure. She deserved better. Better than a man with a past that has pushed him to the extent of swearing off girls. And, that hurt as well. It hurt that even if Emmett wasn't a problem I couldn't have her.

Finally, the cars began to move. It was five o'clock, the same five o'clock that is notoriously known for causing huge traffic jams. The same five o'clock that's been dubbed 'rush hour'. The same five o'clock that left my mind to wander. To wander to what it would be like if we were together. Me and her. Bella and Edward.

I imagined a simple date, the way she would act. I pictured her responses. I conjured thoughts that were more about an intimate relationship, than the actual intimacy of the relationship. It was alluring, the idea of us together, in every way. Both physically, and mentally. I longed for it. Which was odd. I'd never really felt this way before. I couldn't get her out of my head, even though I was terrified of what would happen if Emmett found out of my attraction, I was terrified of it all. And, even know this I still drifted into my fantasies...

"Bella," I whispered to her while pressing my mouth to her hair. She was resting against my torso, while we were reclined on the couch. We had just finished watching a movie, one that I barely watched. All I had done was watched her lying there in my arms, her beautiful body lying against me. Needing me for support. She was on the brink of becoming unconscious, her eyes were lidded wearily. But, the second I said her name she lifted her head to look up at me, a smile growing on her face. She was radiant. Her eyes were full of happiness and contentment. And, they brightened when she saw me; I loved the way I effected her.

"Have you ever heard of The Cardigans?" she asked. I could tell she was about to be clever.

"Not really." I whispered, boring my eyes into her. I couldn't help but let a smile play on my face. I loved her little antics.

"Fair enough, but you will from now on..." I raised an eyebrow, what did that even mean? And with out hesitation she took my face into her small, delicate hands and began to kiss me, it was fully of passion. I immediately responded and began to kiss her back.

"So, what song were you referring to?" I asked breathlessly. Gazing up at the goddess before me.

"One of their songs is titled 'kiss me'," she said with a sly smile. A smile widened on my face as I conjured a little, clever plan.

"Well I can't make them memorable for you as well..." I said, being suggestive. And, before her eyes could widen, like they would, my mouth crashed against hers, in a kiss deeper and more passionate than even thought possible. It was amazing. Her soft, full lips under mine, moving in perfect synchronization. It was like we were made for each other.

In the need for breath we broke our kiss. But, I didn't stop. I began to kiss along her neck. Nibbling even. The kisses were fervent, and as she finally caught her breath I worked my way back up her neck to her mouth. Once our lips were locked again, she began to shift her weight to where her position was more comfortable. Now, she as straddling me, and she had the advantage. God, she was hot.

But, as our kisses continued to deepen, my fingers began to wander on their own accord. My hands trailed down to the edges of her jeans. While slightly tickling the sensitive skin there I bean to slip my hands underneath her shirt. God, she was so soft. My hands dancing along her skin evoked a moan from her beautiful mouth, and with that I attacked her mouth again. She took grasp of my hair in response to my hands as I slowly worked up to her enticing breasts.

Her breathing had become rapid and shallow as I teased her skin. I wasn't touching exactly what she wanted, and the anticipation was killing her. I chuckled slightly in to her mouth, as or lips moved continuously, a smile growing on my face. She let a small whine, in response to my torturing her. With sympathy I finally gave her what she wanted. I began to-

The car behind by honked at me, waking me from my reverie. I groaned at the loss of her image and began to advance in the traffic jam. It was only a few feet, but for an angry driver that was enough to elicit the blaring of their horn. It was sad, really. Me fantasizing over something I clearly couldn't have. Something that I really wanted. Something that I felt like I needed. It's actually kind of funny, though. I know Bella, through Emmett. He's told me countless stories, most including her in some way. So even though she doesn't know me at all, I know her. But, before I saw her, before I felt physically attracted to her, I had always felt protective over her. On many occasions I had helped Emmett in decimating the punks who took advantage of her. And, because he's always seen her as a sister I had only been able to see her that way. Something vulnerable, that needs protecting. But, now... Now I felt protective in a different way, in a possessive way. God, this is so confusing!

I turned on my CD player, something I had neglected originally, hoping to find an escape from my fantasies of her, Bella. The very thought of her name sent a shiver throughout my body. It was odd, what I was feeling. I couldn't describe it. By leaving, I was supposed to leave her behind. But, my mind wouldn't let me. And, oddly that didn't bother me. I liked thinking of her.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I tried to get lost in the music and lyrics of Linkin Park, as I blared the stereo. It helped somewhat. All I could think of was do was worry that I might go deaf listening to it, but it did keep my thoughts away from her. I put all my attention on the complicated rhythms presented, steering clear from thoughts of her. Because, as much as I loved thinking about her, it was only torture. I could never have her, and to me that was the most extreme violation of the eighth amendment. It hurt to remind myself of reality. And, I knew deep down that it was irrational to feel this. But rationality no longer was my friend. I had abandoned it the second my fantasies had begun.

I continued my journey for hours, delaying sleep at all costs. Barely holding onto consciousness I drove down the road, completely dependent on the stereo blasting my music to keep me awake. I knew that I could only keep unconsciousness at bay for so long, but I dreaded the dreams that accompanied sleep. I knew that she would be there. And, I knew I would like it. And, that's what scared me. That's what compelled me to stay away from thoughts of her. Because I knew it would only hurt that much worse when I finally accepted the truth.

My eyes were lidded from the weary of the day. And, I knew then that sleep was no longer inevitable it was here. Before, I could be an idiot and continue my dangerous driving, I pulled over onto the curb, not even wanting to bother with a hotel. After turning off the car, I climbed into the back seat, and reclined into the most comfortable position available, which wasn't even that agreeable. And, almost instantaneously I was asleep.

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I had been right, like usual. My dreams had been wholly consumed by her. Everything had revolved around her. And, I loved it. I wanted everything that I had dreamed of. It didn't make since, but none the less those were the convoluted emotions that ran through me. I wanted her. However messed up it was it's true. I wanted everything, and that was a scary thought. Leaving out Emmett, I'd still never be good enough for her. She was Bella, she deserved everything. That was something I wasn't sure I could give her. God, I probably sound like a stalker to the rest of the word, I thought while shaking my head, attempting to get her out of my mind. It was sad really, how obsessed I'd become about a girl that I only knew through stories, how infatuated I'd become about someone who didn't know me at all. It was completely one-sided.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I sat up. I slowly made my way up to the front seat. After settling into the sleek leather interior I slowed turned the key to start the engine. Waiting for the car to heat I couldn't help but let my mind wander. But this time it was guilt that my thoughts had been submerged in. How could I be doing this? Thinking about her- the innocent, untainted Bella- like this. It was completely wrong.

After the car had been sufficiently warmed I began to pull over from the curb onto the freeway, not even looking at the road. Luck had to be on my side, because surprisingly from that reckless move no consequences came. I accelerated as I became more acquainted with the road. I realized the stiffness in the muscles, a result of my uncomfortable sleeping position from the past evening, and without further delay I stretched in place, trying to relieve the tension. It worked. As I drove on the highway, I realized how clear it was. I quickly glanced at the clock to the right to see that it was only 5:30. What the hell?! Why in God's name did I wake up that early. Ugh! What the hell was going on?! I blinked quickly to summon some reason from deep within for why on earth I was waking up this early. Nothing came to mind.

I continued the drive with great speed, disregarding the speed limit entirely. I really didn't care about that right now. I really didn't want to go home, but the guilt that was eating away at me now. I couldn't help but feel shame. I was mortified by my thoughts. I couldn't believe I could be so... I can't even think of a word to describe my behavior. It was completely dishonorable, that much was for sure. I mean she was such an exquisite being with an even more beautiful soul, and I had degraded that by including her in such vulgar fantasies.

Disgusted by my behavior, I drove on. I was enraged by my sickening thoughts, and it showed in my driving. I was driving like a mad man. I glanced down at the dashboard, and realized that it almost read empty. Slight panic occurred in me, and I quickly glanced at the signs bordering the row, looking for an exit that leads to a gas station, signs that I had been defiantly neglecting before. There was an upcoming exit and I willingly took it.

Sliding into a space at the nearest gas station I began the process of filling the tank. It wasn't that long, but I soon realized that my business wasn't done there. A void in my stomach had developed, and I felt the immediate need to assuage that hunger. After paying for the gas, I entered the convenience store that so conveniently accompanied it. I swiftly entered the store and began to browse the isles, looking for something. Most of the choices were unhealthy and beyond what I needed to satisfy my hunger. Finally, I came upon a somewhat acceptable choice, a granola bar. Without a moment of hesitation I proceeded to the checkout counter. After the monotonous process was finished, I retreated to my volvo again, and was immediately welcomed with her sleek leather interior.

Once my journey continued on the freeway I turned on the music, once again focussing only on the music. I needed that escape; this time to get away from the relentless guilt that was eating away at me.

And, luckily, Coldplay did help.

And, as the day went on I continued to drive, the CD's alternating every so often. I tried continuously no to think of my guilt. And I had all but succeed at that, but accompanying those moments of weakness were flickers of images of her and me. Succumbing to the fantasies that surely would occur was unacceptable, but to not indulge in those images was almost a crime. But, I fought long and hard against those appealing ideas; repeatedly telling myself that indulging in those images had only one outcome: fantasies. Fantasies which I could never revel in.

The constant war continued internally, but I finally made it through the day with minimal stops. I had covered much more ground today than the day before. Which only brought me closer to my homecoming. The same homecoming that would evoke the past. Which admittedly was terrifying. As the night continued on, I knew that my consciousness would soon end, and that unlike last night I didn't want to sleep in the back seat of my car. Instead, I took the next exit and found an inn. Without hesitation I pulled into a parking spot and entered the building.

After receiving my room key, I once more went back to my car to retrieve the items I'd need for that night. Once settled into the room the process of unwinding didn't take long to complete. And, for once my thoughts didn't linger. For I immediately fell prey to sleep.

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The next day followed the same schedule: driving, inching forward slowly toward my destination. All the while a battle continues in my mind, between my honor and my selfishness, between my pride and my greed. I knew that I shouldn't think of her. It was wrong on so many levels. First, my infatuation with her was forbidden. Emmett would make it a definite fact that I would be severely injured, not to mention that I would be forever shunned. I would lose my one and only friend if he even got a glimpse at the the thoughts occurring in my mind. Secondly, reality would eventually sink in and my hopes would be crashed. What I was imagining and hoping for was unrealistic, and the more I thought of her the more it would hurt when the truth cemented itself. Lastly, Bella's beautiful image mixed with mine only tortured me and degraded her. She was a gorgeous, and it abased her image when that image was manipulated to include me.

Even with the music blaring, making it almost impossible to hear my thoughts, the few thoughts I had were still of her. Even though every fiber of my being was yelling at me, reminding me how wrong it was, I- I couldn't stop it. Her image was fixed in my mind. Even though the debate was continuously going on in my head, in those momentary suspensions of the dichotomy in my mind she was the only thing that existed. In those moments, when her image consumed my mind, it seemed simple. It seemed right. But then my judgement returned; then the war resumed; then guilt ate away at me.

I knew as this war continued that there was no way rational could win, but despite this I refused to leave it at that. I knew that the longer I let the parley continue in my mind, my resolve would only diminish. I knew that eventually my lesser side would win. But, I also knew it was only right the attempt at keeping those thoughts at bay.

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By the time I was entering Chicago my life was becoming monotonous. The ongoing battle had become old. I was still fighting, but I was beginning to ask why. Was my honor really worth the fight? It had become tiresome; the same reasons for each side continued to replay in my mind. As the words parroted in my mind, the value of the words decreasing at a constant rate.

I turned on the road that signified the last leg of my journey. In but two hours I would be home. The problems of my past I was still faced with, and that part frightened me. Because, not only would I have to face the current battle that persists mentally, but now I'd have to face my past. The same past that I had so desperately tried to escape from. The one that had ruled my life for the last four years. And, I hated that fact. The point of escaping was to escape. And, I had escaped the actual people that haunted me. But, those people, their memory had dictated my actions. The impression they had left on me had banished any idea of risk that had ever existed previously. Because of her unreasonable absolutes existed in my mind. Because of her I would never trust.

I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind, knowing that getting my self worked up over the issue would only make it worse. No preparation could ever truly make me ready for what was to come. My homecoming would be a catalyst to a violent chain reaction. One that I really didn't wish to witness. But, despite my reluctance this would be the closure I needed. And, until I got that closure these events would forever haunt me.

The journey continued, but I could feel the anticipation begin to swell within me. I knew that my time of peace was dwindling away. And, I tried to hold onto it, scared. The procrastinator inside of me was looking for ways to extend the time I had, but I had reached a point of no return, where delaying tactics were ineffective and useless. No matter how much time I wasted I would be "home" by nightfall. And, tomorrow was filled with festivities, it being Christmas Eve, so in no way would be able to avoid the problems I faced.

I slowly drove into the driveway of my house, well Carlisle's and Esme's, I don't really think I could claim ownership of any kind. With a deep breath I hesitantly killed the engine. I sat there for a few moments, trying to regain my thoughts. Knowing that I no longer could delay I slowly slid out of the car and sauntered toward the front door. As I reached the front door one final deep breath left my body.

I rose my fist the door and I quickly knocked. After a couple of moments the door began to creep open to reveal my legal guardian, Esme.

"Hey," I said sheepishly, a week smile playing on my face.

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**What'd you think?! Reviews always appreciated.**

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